Lazy Sunday

Well, dear readers, here we are, 7:00 pm on a Sunday and I haven’t written a darn word for you today.  Except for the ones I’m writing right now.  And now.  Hmm.  I may have to rethink this whole post-a-day plan.  Or maybe I’ll just take off Sundays like Chick-Fil-A.  Because emulating those red-blooded, god-fearin, queer-hatin chicken slingers is something we all should aspire to.  Anyway, I figured the easiest—I mean the most entertaining thing I could do for today’s blog entry was to show you how I spent my Sunday.  Keep in mind, this is pretty typical.

8:30 am.  Wake up and try to fall asleep again.  It’s Sunday, mothafucka.  I should be dead to the world until at least eleven.  But alas, further sleep evades me.  Time to get up and tackle my busy day.

8:40 am.  Drive to Starbucks.  Wait in the drive-thru line.  It’s frickin freezing outside.  I need hot coffee.  Why are there so many other turds here?

8:50 am.  Coffee in hand, realize I need gas.  Drive to nearest gas station, see that it’s a Phillip’s 66 and apparently they’ve been all out of gas for a month.  Drive to QuikTrip.  Get gas.

9:00 am.  Why do I always have so much energy in the morning?  I want to go shopping for clothes and craft supplies and candles!  Oh wait.  It’s Sunday.  None of those places will be open for three more hours.  Best go home.

9:30 am.  Remember that we’re bringing Halloween treats to work on Thursday and I need to premake orange, yellow and white icing for cupcakes so I don’t have to do it all on Wednesday night.  Take butter out of fridge to thaw.  Realize it’s too damn cold in my house for butter to thaw.

9:35 am.  Put butter on the stovetop, next to a warm burner.  That’ll warm it up.

9:45 am.  Proceed making and coloring icing for for candy corn cupcakes.  In the meantime, Mom is mixing up cookies.  We do the passive-aggressive, you’re-constantly-in-my-way dance around the kitchen but manage to keep our cool.  We are adults.

11:00 am.  Oh snap!  Amanda Show marathon on TeenNick!  MANDA MANDA MANDA MANDA MANDA SHOOOOOOW!

11:30 am.  It is SO cold in this house.  There is no way to sit on the couch and use a laptop while wearing a blanket.  Either the blanket is across your lap and your arms are cold, or the blanket is wrapped around you and your legs are cold.  I wish I knew where my Snuggie was.  Manda manda manda manda manda shooooow.

12:00 pm.  I should do some school work so I don’t have to do it later this week.  Ugh.  Online classes are a joke but I guess I’ll get it over with.  Manda manda manda manda manda shoooooow.

1:00 pm.  Hello second wind of energy!  I’m going to cook something for dinner tonight.  Whatcha got for me Pinterest?

1:10 pm.  Saute garlic and onions, make delicious sauce, cook spaghetti, make huge mess.  Put away food for later, clean huge mess, manage to get water all over my shirt while washing dishes.  Shit.

2:30 pm.  Shower!  I need to be clean if I’m going to spend the rest of the day loafing around.

3:00 pm.  There is NOTHING on.  I mean NOTHING.  Why can’t they play more Amanda Show?  I guess I’ll put in a movie.

3:05 pm.  Stare at the DVD collection for five minutes and finally land on Hocus Pocus.  Classic October movie!

3:10 pm.  Lol.  Binx is such a dumbass.  It is freezing in here.

4:25 pm.  Let’s do some online shopping.  Hellllo Lush.com

4:38 pm.  Omg, Candles by Victoria is having a 15% off sale TODAY ONLY.  And it ends at 5!

4:39 pm.  Frantically throw as many candles in my virtual cart as I can.  Must smell all the things!

4:45 pm.  Where is my wallet?  I need a credit card, STAT.

4:49 pm.  Order confirmation received.  I am a golden goddess.

5:00 pm.  Ooh, they’re showing one of those documentaries about the Kennedy assassination and the magic bullet.  If I were a character on Doctor Who, I’d travel to that exact date and shoot the whole thing on my iPhone then upload the whole thing to Youtube.  Everyone would think it was fake though, because it looks too real.  Shhh.  It’s our little secret.

6:10 pm.  Better go heat up dinner so it’s ready when Dad gets home.

6:45 pm.  Nom nom nom.

7:00 pm.  Can you guys do dishes?  Okaythanksbye!

7:05 pm.  What time is it, bitches?  Long Island Medium/Breaking Amish time!

7:06 pm.  Oh shit.  Blog time.

Well, that’s pretty much all I got accomplished today.  I hope everyone else’s day was as productive as mine or even moreso!  But now, I think everyone needs to grab a Snuggie, settle down in front of the TV and charge up for the week with some trashy Sunday night telly!

Next Time on I Have a Blog Now

A Doctor Who Discussion (Seriously)

Shit Parents Complain About

I Pick Ugly Guys

As always, thanks for reading.

Becky