My sister and I get along fine, but I wouldn’t say that we necessarily agree on much. In fact, if our relationship could be summed up in a single picture, this would probably be it.
Or this.
Yeesh. What up, surgery face?
That’s pretty typical: me getting really excited about something that Sarah a) couldn’t care less about or b) is disgusted by. For the most part, we have very different taste in clothes, TV and movies, food, baby names, music and most of all, boys. Sarah’s ideal boyfriend looks something like this.
My ideal boyfriend looks more like this.
So when it comes to celebrity crushes, Sarah usually has nothing to say about my preferred gentlmen. Nothing except “ew.” So now, for my own amusement (because it amuses me when Sarah is disgusted at one thing or another), here are the ugly guys I am in love with. Sarah, get ready to vom.
Matt Smith:The star of my favorite TV show and my number one celeb crush. And I will be the first to tell you that he is not the most…er…traditionally attractive man on the planet. I think I recently described him to my cousin by saying that his face looks like a shovel. His eyes are so far sunken into his skull that he looks like a skeleton, he has no visable eyebrows and I think his chin and his forehead are having an argument over who can protrude the most from the rest of the face. That said, I still think he’s gorgeous. Something about pale, nerdy guys…
Michael Phelps: So, Sarah and everyone else on the planet is probably screaming “butterface!” at the top of their lungs right now, but I say hush. Not only is Michael Phelps smokin’ hot in every single way, he’s also one of the greatest American heroes who ever lived. Don’t tell me that you didn’t get a little hot and bothered every time his sick body walked up to the pool in Beijing and London. Seriously, don’t tell me that. I don’t associate with liars. Michael Phelps is HOT.
John Elerick: If you've never seen The Gentlemen's Rant on Youtube, you are seriously missing out. First of all, their videos are freaking hilarious. Second of all (do people really say second of all?) one of the guys is super duper hot. His name is John. Again with the pale and nerdy. Can't say I don't have a type, I guess. Watch one of the Gentlemen’s Rant videos. He’s got a voice like buttah. And what girl doesn’t get all tingly over a guy who’s kind of an asshole? I mean, in a sarcastic way. Not a Chris Brown kinda way.
I don't really have a thing for gingers but...damn.
Novak Djokovic: If you watch tennis, then you know that not only is Novak Djokovic hot, he’s hilarious. And since Sarah doesn’t watch tennis, she will never understand how hot Djokovic is. Anyway, I think the picture speaks for itself. His calf muscles are like pilars of solid stone. I think the pictures speak for themselves, don’t you?
Nick McCrory: This Olympic silver medalist is like 20 years old, which makes me feel a little creepy but then again, this is probably the only person on this list that Sarah and I will agree on. I will let you know that he does have a pretty cute face, because I guarantee that none of you are looking at his face in that picture. I can’t really blame you though. I think at one point during the Olympics, Sarah referred to Nick McCrory’s Speedo as a clown car of wiener or something like that. Being that he swimsuit to dick ratio is way off, I think the biggest travesty of the 2012 Summer Games is that Nick McCrory’s bulge didn’t win the gold.
Next Time on I Have a Blog Now
Movies I Love but No One Else Seems To
The Best Full House Episodes Ever
Dream Wedding
I HAVE to know about your fav Full House episode. Do that next please! also those guys aren't bad...except for shovel face.
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